16 October 2012

2012 Presidential Debate #2: My Answers

I've never done a live-blog of a debate before, so it seemed like a fun thing to do for tonight's Presidential Debate between President Barack Obama and Mitt Romney. I'll answer each question as though it was put to me. I have no idea how this is going to go, so this post could be the best thing I've ever done or it could be a complete bust. We'll see!

Chance of employment for college grads?

Your best bet of being employed after graduation rests on an economy that actually respects educated, skilled workers. That won't happen if we have an economy built to line the pockets of corporate predators like Mitt Romney, who built their fortunes by finding ways of not employing people like you.

Not policy of Energy Department to lower gas prices?

Dept. of Energy's mission is to promote healthy energy policy. Lower gas prices should be a result of those policies, not its objective. If the energy policy works properly, gas use declines and with it, demand and then prices.

Reduce tax rates for all tax brackets and work with Congress to close deduction loopholes. How does that work?

Uh, basically, it works like this: Romney's plan is Reaganomics Redux. If you've forgotten the 1980s, it might be exciting to try. For the rest of us who have paid any attention, we know that the rich getting richer doesn't help anyone but the rich. It's a scam, frankly, meant to sound like sticking up for you so that you feel better about getting screwed.

How to rectify inequalities in work place?

The most efficient way unfortunately isn't something we can do quickly and that's we need to change our culture so that sexism, racism and other forms of discrimination are chased out of power. In the short term, what we can do is promote transparency in pay so that employees know when they're begin cheated. We also need to help promote businesses run by women and minorities, so that it's easier in the short term for workers to catch a break from employers who know how hard it is.

How would a Romney administration be different from a Bush administration?

Romney would be as different as from the Bush administration as is convenient on any given day. But the important thing to note is that Candidate Bush was very different from President Bush. If you're not sold on Candidate Romney, how much more comfortable do you think you'll be with a President Romney?

What has Obama done to deserve reelection?

Wait, what? Dude, I'm a candidate! You think I'm gonna sell you on him? *le sigh* Voters of Kentucky District 4, remember to write me in for the House of Representatives this November!

What to do with undocumented workers who are productive members of American society?

You know that DREAM Act the Republicans keep killing? I believe in that.

Did State Department refuse request for extra security in Benghazi? Who denied request and why?

I have no idea. Biden says yes, Hillary says no, and all I know is that the ball was dropped. I'm just a dude trying to get written onto the ballot, you know?

What about assault weapons?

We can respect the Second Amendment while still being prudent. The idea that somehow we put decent people at a disadvantage by cracking down on the availability of assault weapons is nothing more than the makings of a shoot-'em-up fantasy world. Go ask Bill Brady about how this works.

What plans to counter outsourcing?

Stop rewarding it. My apologies to Mr. Romney's portfolio.

What is the biggest misperception of you, the candidate?

The biggest misperception of me is that I'm not a candidate. I really do want to be elected to the House of Representin'! Write in my name on the ballot, ye voters in Kentucky District 4!