10 February 2012

I Am a Responsible Adult

There I was, thinking this afternoon about how I wanted to go out to Barnes and Noble in The Summit and buy Amelie on Blu-ray and it occurred to me that I might be benevolent and ask my 16 year-old cousin if she wanted to go with me. Just something to do on a Friday night, y'know? She was certainly eager to go, but she had two friends over. Being the guy I am, I extended the offer to take the trio. They very enthusiastically accepted. It took them a while to craft their Jersey Shore-inspired appearances, which I'm only reasonably certain they affect in jest, and then we were off.
Watching this movie is like falling in love.

Except that on the way, I learned that one girl's mother was alarmed at the notion of the expedition on account of the weather. It had only just begun to spit some snow and the forecast calls for at most an inch accumulation overnight; hardly a winter storm. Still, I can appreciate that this woman is entitled to be protective of her kid and I'm not about to begin lecturing otherwise. It's not my place to say so.

My cousin's friend tried to assuage her mother that they weren't with another teenager, but somehow I think learning that her little girl was out with her friend's 33 year-old (male) cousin was not very comforting. I suspect the woman has already begun calling the producers of To Catch a Predator. I didn't want to insert myself into the discussion (at least, not beyond the level to which I was already involved) so I refrained from trying to address the mother myself. But between you and me, Dear Reader, I longed to just yell, "I am a responsible adult!"

Instead, I went through the drive thru at Steak & Shake (instead of dining in, as had been my preference), dashed into Target for five minutes, hoping they might have Amelie and save me the additional ten minutes getting to Barnes and Noble (they didn't), then off to B&N where I picked up Amelie and then I promptly brought the girls right back. My fries were rubber by the time I ever got to taste one of them.

The girls were spending the night with a fourth girl, so I dropped them off and then headed to do some grocery shopping. I had a stack of coupons, you see, and I made a point to use them this time lest they expire. I bought meat, cheese and eggs, as well as a large container of water and some soft taco shells. (I passed on the Krispy Kremes, but I did indulge and buy a package of Oreos.)

When I got home, I announced myself to the cats as I am wont to do and it dawned on me as I unpacked my purchases that they were entirely unimpressed that I had just been a frugal consumer of necessities. In the past, had I made such a trip to a grocery store, my wife would have fawned over my skills and lavished me with praise for doing so well. Tonight, there was no one to care.

So I say unto thee, Interwebs, I am a responsible adult. I can successfully take your kid shopping and I can go to the grocery all by myself. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm waiting on my friends to get ready so we can play Mario Kart Wii. Imma smoke 'em.

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