15 November 2011

The End of the Beginning

Astute readers likely by now have noticed that since my initial post-treatment output, I have refrained from discussing anything personal in this blog. The reason for this is that my blog is not anonymous; I cannot freely explore subjects that involve or affect other people. The time has come, however, where I must now begin to face something important.

My wife and I are going to divorce.

The strain of this last year with my depression has been too great for her to continue to bear. Beyond that, I will not discuss the nature of our relationship in this blog. I do not wish to read any comments about how sad this is, how I'll find something new or anything else. I will delete any such remarks that appear in any comments. If I wanted that nonsense, I would spend my time at Hallmark instead of blogging.

Neither my marriage nor impending divorce are "fair game" subjects for discussion here. There are no exceptions. If I haven't already discussed this with you, then (at the risk of offending you), you're not sitting in a seat at my inner circle.

Why bring it up, then?

Simply put, this blog is for me. That others have benefited is gratifying, of course, and it's what makes sharing my experiences easier for me, but at the end of the day, I blog for myself. I cannot compartmentalize something of this magnitude any longer. I have no idea the extent to which this will color future posts, but I can say that I hope to be able to offer some measure of comfort to readers who may also endure this particular brand of misery just as I have reached out to those who have fought depression, Crohn's disease or paying full price for Disney Blu-rays.

At present I have not processed enough of this or gained enough perspective to be able to offer anything helpful to anyone else with one lone exception. If you learn nothing else from me, let it be this:

The origin of a strain is irrelevant; whether the strain is properly addressed is all that matters.

It is almost impossible for me to expect to finish my NaNoWriMo project on time, having lost an entire eight days now in which I was unable to write a solitary word. I do hope to resume writing soon, though, and even if I fall short of the 30 November deadline, I intend to continue working on this story until I have completed a draft. That reminds me: I hate naming characters. So in lieu of banal platitudes I have no desire to read, why don't you do me an actual favor and submit some character names for me to pilfer?


  1. Its good to see a post, and I look forward to many more.



  3. I've never heard Orlanda before, but I already adore it! Isabella is a lovely name, but for various reasons it's not one I'm comfortable using in this story. The rest of the names are a bit too "exotic" for the characters and setting of my story, but I think Dagmar and Averell would make great surnames. Thanks for these!

  4. Derek Armstrong11/18/2011 6:34 PM


    But I don't think you can take that one, because I stole it from Jared Hess' Gentlemen Broncos.

  5. Chet Atkins once advised Clint Black that if you're going to steal something, forget where you got it.

  6. I too an a big fan or Orlanda. I came across it in the James Clavell novel Noble House some years ago and instantly fell in love with it. Haven't seen it anywhere else since.