16 December 2010
My Favorite Tweets of 2010
Michelle Branch @michellebranch, 31 December 2009: "So happy for this year to finally be over. It sucked donkeys for quarters."
Brent Spiner @BrentSpiner, 23 March, discussing the health care legislation: "RT @ MissMeggles Oh, I agree, I just think there are better ways.--Really? What would those be? And why haven't we been doing them?"
Paul Dini @Paul_Dini, 19 May: "Is it just me or does the Dos Equis guy come across as the beer drinker's Ras al Ghul?"
Jim Day @JimDayTV, 3 June: "Tragic is what is happening in the Gulf, NOT the missed call in Detroit last night." [referring to anger over the blown call that cost Armando Galarraga a perfect game]
Mika @MikatheStripper, 10 June: "My customers can see my pussy & have my company for hours & know my thoughts. But hell fucking no they're not seeing my dogs."
[re-tweeted by Roger Ebert]
@Kno, 19 June: "MC Hammer just quoted Shaq quoting Nelson Mandela. I really need to take my ass to bed."
Seth Meyers @sethmeyers21, 23 June, in response to the firing of General Stanley McChrystal: "As punishments go, you could do worse than 'you're no longer in charge of winning the war in Afghanistan'."
Diablo Cody @diablocody, 28 June: "Tried out new breast pump; it's mesmerizing. I haven't seen such brisk, robotic nipple-suckage since 'Wild Things.'"
Dawn Foster @dawnhfoster, 7 August: "If eating cheesecake for breakfast is wrong, I don't want to be right."
Natasha Badhwar @natashabadhwar, 27 August: "Confidence is a paper plane. It soars, it crashes. I fold another one."
Elizabeth Banks @ElizabethBanks, 29 August: "I'll go ahead and say it: listening to other people's loud hotel sex is pretty great. You go, room 492!"
Gail Simone @GailSimone, 31 August: "I don't know if Peta [sic] is protecting animals or selling naked celebrities."
Tom Cox @tomcox75, 17 October: "'I am a thirsty seven-year old French girl.' In the world of unfortunate Guardian Soulmates typos, a zenith has been reached."
Mark Waid @MarkWaid, 16 November: "I stopped using the '40 yr olds who live in their mother's basement' slam after I realized it also applies to Batman."
John Fugelsang @JohnFugelsang, 2 December: "Obama's not a brown-skinned, anti-establishment anti-war liberal giving out free health care. You're thinking of Jesus."
Paul Gude @sgnp, 6 December : "Howdy, rich people! You've got your tax cuts! I'm totally ready for you to hire me for one of the hundreds of jobs I applied for last year."
Addendum: favorite tweets since I published this post.
@nowhitecaps, 25 December, in response to my question, "What's the point of having painkillers if we're not going to give them to patients in PAIN?": "So all the Vicodin mill doctors in Boca Raton can give them to the rich folks with fibromyalgia? :P"
Lastly, I just discovered @preeschoolgems, which collects hilarious quotes from preschoolers. What's more is that they are presented entirely out of context, so when you read, "I fell because I high-fived so hard" (tweeted 8 December), it's all the funnier. It's like @shitmydadsays, but with tykes instead of the old man bringing the comedy gold.
Also, here are a few of my tweets that others found worthy of re-tweeting this year:
21 March: "A trillion dollars is a horrible thing to burden the unborn with for healthcare, but a patriotic duty for invading Iraq in '03." [re-tweeted by six people]
6 May: "Greece: The birthplace of democracy; the resting place of capitalism." [re-tweeted by seven people]
19 September: "There are two types of people in this world. Those who love the Muppets, and those who are terrorists." [re-tweeted by two people]
10 December: "If you heard Bernie Sanders ask 'How many yachts does a person need?' and you became defensive: Fuck you." [re-tweeted by seven people]