14 April 2009

The Wrong Side of Thirty

Anyone who knows me is well aware of my addiction to music.  To help build my library the last year, I have signed up with one of the ubiquitous online survey groups.  I answer some questions, and a week or so later they deposit anywhere from $1.00 to $3.00 into my Paypal account.  It's not something I get to do regularly, but it paid for about ten downloads from the iTunes store last year so no complaints from me.

This year, though, I have regularly run into the following problem.  In the screening portion of the survey, I am now clicking the 30-34 age group instead of the 25-29 group.  I am then discovering that they're not looking for my input.  Is this because people in my new age group are more vigorous about participating in these things?  Possibly, but I suspect it more likely reflects the diminished value my opinion has now that it's in this demographic.

Thanks to having Crohn's disease, I've already reached the point where cold weather can make it painful for me to even stand up (much less actually walk).  I wouldn't be so dramatic about it as to say my body has completely betrayed me--there are certainly others for whom such a declaration would be devoid of any exaggeration.  Still, I don't think it self-indulgent to say that my mental self is of greater value to me than my physical self.  Imagine, then, being told that your mental self has also lost its luster!

I know, I know.  I'm making too much out of this, I shouldn't let it bother me, blah, blah, blah.  I know these things mentally, but when you're struggling to find some way of looking at yourself that doesn't sicken you and then you find one more reason that you've been devalued, it's hard to get a grip on that kind of thing.  (Which reminds me, I'm not sure I took my fluoxetine with lunch today....)

6 comments:

  1. First off, did they specify that you have to use Earth time? You could be 17 (or worse) by many other non-Earth standards, and thus your input becomes desirable once again. All that aside, since when have any of us really had any "real" value in any way toward society? *SMACK* Snap out of it man! We're the collective. You, sir, are the minister of shuckin' and jivin'. You don't need legs to do that, or guts for that matter. Just your noggin' (brain and vocal components primarily) so ultimately we could plop your head into one of those Futurama jars and we'd be good to go. Not like those Taco Bell crunchwraps though, they're not really good to go, it was all a lie. I drip cheese and sour cream and all sorts of things whenever I eat one. But I'm not saying all this to cheer you up, because that probably wouldn't work anyway. I'm saying this so you'll stop sulking like a whiny... Chad? help me out here. Well we'll get back to that later when Chad's around. Long story short (too late) the only thing that has changed over the past few years is that your guts hate you, and you hate them right back, so it all evens out. Your thoughts, opinions, bloviations, all still hold equal weight in the grand scheme of things. More likely what I would suspect is that the survey site figures you're so broke that you have to answer surveys to download muzac that you really aren't an active part of the mainstream market, and thus your opinion is as relevant as that of an orangutan. Which to you should be pretty frickin' awesome.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I should clarify that the reward for the survey is outright money deposited into my Paypal account. The fact I spend it on music is unknown to the survey people (unless they're secretly tracking my Paypal activity somehow).

    Otherwise, finding out I really do measure myself against everyone and everything else in this world would probably be for you what seeing who the real Wizard of Oz was for Dorothy and her entourage. I'll try to stay obscured behind the curtain henceforth.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Take a deep breath. It's the internet. Sometimes it's really stupid. Hey, even Al Gore makes mistakes.

    We all know you are a great conversationalist with good ideas and a fantastic sense of humor. Why else would we read this crap?

    ReplyDelete
  4. Just for the record, that Wizard of Oz bit never happened. The file has been removed from the filing cabinet. I'll go with the weird musical instrument up there, "Why else would we read this crap?"

    ReplyDelete
  5. I should clarify that the reward for the survey is outright money deposited into my Paypal account. The fact I spend it on music is unknown to the survey people (unless they're secretly tracking my Paypal activity somehow).

    Otherwise, finding out I really do measure myself against everyone and everything else in this world would probably be for you what seeing who the real Wizard of Oz was for Dorothy and her entourage. I'll try to stay obscured behind the curtain henceforth.

    ReplyDelete
  6. First off, did they specify that you have to use Earth time? You could be 17 (or worse) by many other non-Earth standards, and thus your input becomes desirable once again. All that aside, since when have any of us really had any "real" value in any way toward society? *SMACK* Snap out of it man! We're the collective. You, sir, are the minister of shuckin' and jivin'. You don't need legs to do that, or guts for that matter. Just your noggin' (brain and vocal components primarily) so ultimately we could plop your head into one of those Futurama jars and we'd be good to go. Not like those Taco Bell crunchwraps though, they're not really good to go, it was all a lie. I drip cheese and sour cream and all sorts of things whenever I eat one. But I'm not saying all this to cheer you up, because that probably wouldn't work anyway. I'm saying this so you'll stop sulking like a whiny... Chad? help me out here. Well we'll get back to that later when Chad's around. Long story short (too late) the only thing that has changed over the past few years is that your guts hate you, and you hate them right back, so it all evens out. Your thoughts, opinions, bloviations, all still hold equal weight in the grand scheme of things. More likely what I would suspect is that the survey site figures you're so broke that you have to answer surveys to download muzac that you really aren't an active part of the mainstream market, and thus your opinion is as relevant as that of an orangutan. Which to you should be pretty frickin' awesome.

    ReplyDelete