23 January 2009

President Obama Needs a Hat

President Obama has taken office amidst an economic collapse potentially on the scale of the Great Depression and two unpopular wars as potentially divisive as Vietnam.  What he needs to do is reassure us and lead us through these events while maintaining an aura of calm and self-assured strength.  What Mr. Obama needs is a hat.

The hat is an essential part of any gentleman's wardrobe.  It suggests something about the man wearing it.  Remove hats from Indiana Jones, Dick Tracy, Sherlock Holmes or The Man in the Yellow Hat, and what do you have?  Those characters are intrinsically linked with their iconic headwear to the point that most people are unaware that Sherlock Holmes was never described by Arthur Conan Doyle as wearing a deerstalker cap.

Our new president cuts a stylish figure--he proved that definitively as he and First Lady Michelle Obama appeared at all ten inaugural balls.  He evokes confidence like John Wayne and cool like Frank Sinatra.  Both men regularly wore hats, both on screen and in life.  No president in my lifetime was regularly photographed wearing a hat--in fact, I can't picture any president in a hat, save Dwight Eisenhower in his military uniform.  President Obama has already set a historic precedent by becoming our first African-American president (fun fact: he is also the first person ever to win a Grammy Award and the presidency in the same year).  Why not bring a hat to the Oval Office?

I'm thinking something that fits this criteria:
  • It must be short-brimmed, because a large brim can quickly look cartoonish.
  • It must not have any feathers or other such decorations.  He's the leader of the free world, not A Pimp Named Slickback.
  • It should be a solid color, not plaid or striped, and preferrably either black, brown, gray or navy.  Those are conservative colors, and they convey class and strength.  Plus, they will match well with most of his wardrobe.
  • It must not be a bowler or derby.  The President cannot wear those hats.
  • The President must look comfortable wearing it, like he's sat up all night playing poker in it.
Be sure to post remarks, including any suggestions!


  1. Wow, there are 10 inaugural balls? That's a lot of balls in this woman's opinion.

    How about a cardboard Burger King crown?

  2. He can't wear the crown...King George took it with him when he left.